Sweating through Smiles


16-hour work days are at their hardest when you’re driving home. Generally you feel fine, and quite alert, until you sit in a car for two minutes. Then the sedentary nature of driving will tend to fool your body into thinking you’re in bed and should fall asleep. Luckily it’s not a long drive, or else I’d have to stop every few kilometres for a coffee or a nap.

It’s funny, but right before the holidays I got pulled over at a Police checkpoint. Usually during daylight hours these checkpoints are for checking your car’s Warrant of Fitness and registration, but in this case they were handing out information packs and water bottles to remind people of the signs (and dangers) of driving tired. I thought to myself that they clearly weren’t very good at spotting the signs themselves – because I was shattered – but I just chatted with the officer politely and went on my way. It was only later that night (after a scorching afternoon) that I discovered the info pack contained a Kit Kat… which can quite competently be licked from its wrapper after it’s turned into a melted pile of goo. Never let chocolate go to waste.

Tonight was one of those “difficult” weddings, which required that I stick around till the bitter end to make sure everyone was happy and no one started throwing furniture. It must’ve worked, because the most difficult and snotty members of the family loved me… and no one threw furniture. We’ll see how they feel about me tomorrow when the hangover sets in. But seriously, these were people who complained about so much that they even complained about the position of the sun.

Um. Sure… excuse me while I move the sun for you. Are there any other celestial bodies that you’d like me to re-position while we’re at it? How do you feel about Saturn all the way out over there?

They also brought in dogs for the service, which shit all over the lawn. Some people have too much money and no class. Which of us lowly peasants do you think has to clean that up?

What can I say? Event management is a service industry. I’m sure that despite all of today’s smoothing and hand-holding and sweating through our smiles, tomorrow I’ll still get a 4-page email about everything they think we did wrong. “… Failed to adequately move or extinguish the sun…” Sorry about that.

16 hours of it.

At least it’s over now.


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