Arson & Crowd Control & Mason Jars


The section we want… the one we’ve been struggling for weeks to find a mortgage for… it’s under contract to another purchaser.


The good news is that it’s not an unconditional offer yet (it’s reliant on the other guy selling his house first), so if we put in another bid tomorrow he has 10 working days to cough up the money. However, with the Auckland housing market being what it is… 10 days is more than long enough to sell a house.

… I wonder if I could find out where their house is and burn it down…

See? See? This is what happens when I want stuff. I need to stop wanting stuff. Stuff is depressing. Stuff makes me crazy…

I have to work three weddings this weekend. Probably stacking around 45 hours of work into the next three days, and now also trying to figure out how to call my lawyer and mortgage broker and bank in between all of that (and also all during working hours on Friday, because you know those guys don’t work weekends). I’ll be lucky if I get a bathroom break before 5pm tomorrow, so all I can say is that the bride better not be demanding because I’m suffering from Real Estate Psychosis right now and Lisianthus in Mason jars really don’t give me a Zen-like calm.

… This is why nobody likes Aucklanders. All we do is talk about the desperate drive to buy property. It becomes the central struggle of our lives – like overcoming a rape or surviving cancer. Regular people feign sympathy but talking about it eventually bores the hell out of everyone who isn’t going through the same thing. “What’s that? You only have 18% equity?… Have you considered group counselling?”






Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s