Unanswered Questions

It’s been another long, hard, 12-hour day at work, so when querying what I should write about tonight my brain has become stuck in a test pattern. Really, I would just rather be asleep.

However, while trawling through my usual newsfeed looking for ideas, I noticed how many of the headlines to articles are actually posed as questions. “Does this horse have the best job at the Olympics?” “What do nap apps say about our sleep?” “Is the English language unsexy?” It’s clearly all about driving traffic to that page by asking something both silly and unanswerable, yet (to my addled brain) it’s starting to look like the news media is compiling a list of unanswered questions of the universe.

With that in mind, I simply Googled “unanswered questions” to find out how many I could answer. Because I’m pedantic like that. I quickly realized that most of them are even more silly, but far from unanswerable.

“Why does a round pizza come in a square box?” Really? Have you tried folding a round box? Making the boxes square is a much more efficient use of labor.

“If they don’t sell any tickets to a movie, do they still show the movie?” Yes. The projection systems in most theaters are automated, and there’s nothing to say that a person might not buy a ticket 30 mins into the screening so the film has to be playing just in case. They generally won’t restart the film for their sole patron because the theater will be booked for another screening straight after this one so the timing is crucial.

“Do birds urinate?” Yes. That’s what the white stuff in their poop is. However birds don’t generally consume much water, so their urine is very concentrated.

“If you’re born on Leap Day, when is your birthday?” February 29th… Duh.

“If you dive into a pool of dry ice, would you get wet?” No, but you’d be horribly burned by the cold. And then you’d suffocate, since carbon dioxide is heavier than air and would fill up the pool.

“If a chef is bald, does he have to wear a hair net?” If he’s completely bald, no.

“Do fish sleep?” Not really. They have periods of rest, when they are less alert, but it’s not sleep in the way that we would tend to understand it. Interestingly, lots of animals don’t really sleep much – including large herbivores like cows and horses. They rest and doze for short times, but they don’t fall unconscious for hours like we do.

At this point I’ve realized that I’m just an asocial smarty-pants and should probably go to bed and get some sleep for myself.

“Why does anything exist?” … Ah, finally a good question… I shall ponder that…

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