Mortgage. No “Yay” this time.

Perhaps the flowers were lucky flowers. Perhaps it was also the knowledge that Friday was going to be my only day off this week. Or perhaps it was the mortgage.

But I slept. From dozing off at 9pm to awaking now, peacefully, at 10am. With only one little break for an hour in the middle when the storm woke me up.

It is very stormy, and one of the things on my list today is definitely to go and check on our shed to make sure the roof hasn’t blown off. While I’m there, I might plant some trees, and do some general tidying up.

Other chores on my list are cleaning the fish tanks, making scones, picking up a prescription, and printing out our mortgage documents.

… I had thought I would be jumping up and down with joy.

We thought we had this sorted back in February. But after the bank withdrew our offer (which it turns out was never an offer anyway) in July, it has taken us 10 weeks to get another formal loan offer. We have that now – they sent it through via email last night – but there are conditions, as we expected. So it’s hard to be that excited when they may turn around in a few weeks and decide that our building contract doesn’t suit them, or that they don’t like our insurance policy, or any other number of things that may cause them to withdraw again. Perhaps I have been too bruised by the last 10 weeks to believe in anything anymore. We are still contemplating taking our original broker to court.

Throughout all of this, I have maintained an almost pig-headed refusal to give up. We have kept going back to the section as much as possible, to potter around and plant veggies and trees as if one day we might live there. We have kept working to build a new building contract, and a new mortgage application, and a new justification why (half-way through this project and strapped for cash) we are a good investment. At times it’s honestly felt delusional.

At least I’ve bought and renovated a property once before. I’m not sure if it made this wringer any easier to navigate, but I knew going into this just how difficult it would be. You never know where the problems will lie, but with any building project you just know that there will be problems. And so far, funding has been our number one problem. Everyone is happy to lend on a house that already exists. But paying to get that house there… Even the bank that said ‘yes’ can apparently still say ‘no’. I wish I’d known that 8 months ago.

But if I’m honest, I still would have proceeded forward. We were desperate to buy. We’d spent over a year looking. And we would have always been willing to roll the dice.








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